In the back of my mind, I always had this plan that I would have two children 3 years apart. We reached a point in our journey where we turned to research, exploring alternative methods available for having our second child. We may not know the path we’d take to have one or what it will look like, but we wouldn’t give up. Emilia would ask, “am I a big sister yet?” and that was enough motivation to shift my thinking from, “I can’t do this again” to, “right now it feels like I can’t do this again, but I need to give myself some space and time to get through this.” Rob stood by my side through the thick of it all, reminding me that one way or another, we would have a baby. Would we ever have a second child? But on the other hand, one of our biggest sources of strength came from our first child. We had two more miscarriages, followed by a period of not getting pregnant at all. Rob and I held on to that glimmer of hope and tried conceiving for another year. It wasn’t easy to learn that if we continued trying to conceive naturally, we would likely be faced with more potential pregnancy losses, but the possibility wasn’t ruled out entirely. While this news weighed heavy on my heart, we at least had an answer now as to why we lost three pregnancies in a row.
Low and behold, results from our genetics panel came through, and we discovered that I had a balanced translocation of chromosomes 13 and 14, which essentially means that pieces of those two chromosomes fused together. So, I worked with my local OB to perform testing. I think it’s human nature just to want answers. Coping with secondary infertility In 2017, I subsequently had two more miscarriages. The more you’re able to connect with others, the more the burden of infertility eases off your shoulders.
As time passed, we felt more comfortable opening up to others about what we were going through, and in doing so, we found beautiful connections that offered us something new, huge, and momentous. Miscarrying wasn’t something we ever expected, but we picked ourselves back up and took some time to heal from that before trying again. Rob and I felt terrified, sad, and isolated. We got pregnant right away in 2016, but sadly lost that baby at 12 weeks, which was incredibly devastating. When Emilia was a couple of years old, we started thinking about growing our family again. Having her was the easiest, simplest thing we’ve ever done, spoiling us to the point where we figured having a second child would be just as effortless. Rob and I welcomed our first child Emilia into this world in 2014.
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